glark cable

I was waiting for a cross-town train in the london underground
When it struck me that i've been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound like a movie so i changed
My plans and rented a camera and a van and then i called you
"i need you to pretend that we are in love again" and you agreed to

I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I greased the lens and framed the shot using a friend as my stand-in
The script it called for rain but it was clear that day so we faked it
The marker snapped and i yelled "quiet on the set"
And then called "action!"
And i kissed you in a stye that clark gable would have admired
(i thought it classic)

I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That you're perfect versus just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?


-Clark Gable, by The Postal Service


What I am doing right now, it's not life.  I want to take a friend, and I want to walk across the country.  I want to hold hands and not need food or shelter.  I want to feel alive.  I hate looking on the last few months of my life and thinking, "Was it all a dream?"  I want life to ooze out of every action I take, every word that erupts from my heart, and every emotion that rattles my soul.  I echo Ben Gibbard- "I want so badly to believe that there is truth, that love is real."


I wrote a poem.


Starving carved, hollow smile
Eyes that work out of duty
Fold yourself, pretty one
You are not a spider with eight legs
You are a coin glued to the ground
You are one part of many pieces
Not one piece of many parts


My hope comes from the lives of good people who have come before me and who are with me now; they have shown me that there is no emotion or power more abiding than love, and there is nothing more important to obtain.