i just am probably here one more time to say goodbye to the world of blogging for me. you may have seen that my blog was down for a few months a while back, and it's been back up as a test run to see if i really wanted a blog. yeah, i don't really. apparently, the internet is not a savior.
lately i have been pretty unhappy about the internet. simply put, it takes a lot of humanity out of some of the most human parts of us. we are social creatures, women and men; the internet gives us a substitute sociality that is, to my heart, sub-par. i realized recently that i don't ever just call people up and see how they are doing, but instead, i get on facebook or read blogs about how they are doing. instead of getting together with a friend and looking at pictures of a trip they went on or a cool thing they did, i write comments under the photo they uploaded on the internet. wouldn't it be really fun instead to develop photos and bring them around and show people in person? you can put personality in the conversation, and you know, it would just be great.
i have been using the blog as a place to post my poems. lately, i have been really wanting to just take my favorite poems and start actually writing them out on paper, maybe with a nice hand-drawn picture. i also want to hand them out to people- think how much more meaningful it would be to read a handwritten poem handed to you than one posted on the internet. i don't care how good the poem is (haha that might be a statement worth retracting), it won't mean as much to a person if they can't see or feel that actual human heart and thought went into the poem. there is something much more meaningful and substantial to paper; maybe it's better at holding souls?
am i soapboxing? i hope not.
lately, my favorite writing is the kind that makes huge leaps from paragraph to paragraph. i think thoreau got me hooked on it, but it's a kind of writing where the paragraphs don't actually have a good, flowing transition- they just kind of jump, so your mind has to make the connection, because there is a connection. it makes the writing seem lighter and it's much more fun to navigate because it engages your mind a little more.
but to all my friends, i love you. i really hope that it will be okay for me, in the future, to just go ahead and call you and talk to you for a few minutes every once in a while and see how you are doing and enjoy your voice. i have never been good at that, but i'd like to be. i want to connect with people (that's you again) on a much more real and personal level. whatever meaning is in life and relations, i would like to enjoy it. so along with calling, i also want to organize a book club and also throw little parties. i just want to be around you and have meaningful times with you.
to top it all off and end this exhilarating run, here is my new favorite video of all time. it's poignant and hilarious- something i thought was impossible to do (oh except for when speed racer and nacho libre did it...)
Zachary L. Johnson (Yabits Wells)
ps. the blog's gone in a few days from now.