indulge me for a second here...

Hi.  Before I start off, I will tell you right now that I always end up eating my words.  I suspect there will be no deviation in this case from the course I have steadily pursued in the past (my words are of course delicious, if you were wondering).


I would like to give some advice to BYU's students-


1.  Lighten up.  Not everything deserves the somberness and gravity that the Holocaust should receive.  My gosh, we are talking about your favorite food!  I don't need a discourse, in heavy tones, about why it's your favorite food and a spiritual experience you've had with it.


2.  Learn to:
   a) make jokes
   b) take jokes
   c) smile
   d) stop being stupid


3.  I don't care if you served a mission.  I don't.  And I don't care about the charity you recently organized.  I don't care about your recent marriage.  I don't care about your new nephew.  I don't care how happy your cousin in Taiwan on his mission is.  So maybe I'm a total jerk, but please please please please please understand that there is life outside of this little cultural bubble we live in, and it, as far as I have seen, is just as real and just as relevant and just as important to understand.  Give me something new.  Give me something real.  I don't really care about your weird, one-sided happiness.


4.  There is life outside of school.  Live it.


5.  There are other people besides you, your wife, and the Lord.  And we need love and are trying just as hard to give it.  Please smile and say hello to me.  I just did it to you.


6.  People who are gay are not bad people.  People who swear are not bad people.  People with tattoos are not bad people.  People who do drugs are not bad people.  People who are insincere, self-righteous, and too hung up on themselves to actually find out who they are, are bad people.  Remember this.


7.  BYU is just a school.  It is not something we worship.  So stop doing that.


Alright, well, WELCOME BACK TO SCHOOL EVERYONE!  I hope you all had a nice break!! :D  Bright, shiny happiness as far as the eye can see!


And as a special treat to end this blog, I have included here two emails from some of my classmates.  You see, at the end of the semester, a mad rush of stupid study groups are organized and people send out mass emails to everyone in the class.  I wish they would stop, which is beside the point, but with this particular class, after the study group had assembled and finished studying, a bunch of people who Didn't Attend the Study Group sent out more mass emails asking for the study group's work to be sent to them.  I kind of roll my eyes, but here are a couple of responses to the emails asking for other peoples' work to be emailed to them.




"Hi class,

Please STOP sending emails asking us to send you our study guides. Its not our fault you couldn't go to reviews even if you weren't feeling well. Plus, its not necessary to go to a review in order to fill out the study guide. Trust me, I've done it with all three. Asking someone to give you their study guide is basically cheating and goes against what Brother Wilson's instructions were. He said it is NOT a group worksheet and doing that defeats its purpose. So please stop. If you need help then ask a few students to get with you and study together.

Thanks"


Lovely, huh?  This next one's just as special. Well, actually, maybe even more special.




"Hi New Testament Class,

I just wanted to write something about the last emails that we have been receiving...

I don't think that it's bad to "share" the study guides because it's a way to help others and be charitable. It's true that we have to do things by ourselves, but not because of that we are not going to help others.

We live in a competitive world, however, it's important to help others when they need it.

Right now we are having finals and some people are struggling more than others, and not helping them is just not being a true child of God. Remember that if you do not have charity, you are nothing :P

I know that "sharing" a complete or part completed study guide is not very fair, but because of circumstances if people need help I suggest that it's ok if they ask for help.

That's all I wanted to say :) Oh! And one more thing.. Every body can decide what to do.. They have their own agency :).. They can decide whether to keep sending emails or not ^^

I hope you have great finals! :) ( Sorry for my bad spelling haha xD)"


Oh good!  Interweave your biased and unfounded philosophy of God and religion into a petty argument to make your point!  Oh how I love it here!


Love, Zach J.


PS.  This is a scathing, piercing and good song.  Please listen to it.  "It's a Hit."  "No one wants to pay to see your happiness/ No one wants to pay to see your day to day/ And I'm not buying it either, but I'll try selling it anyway."